For many people marriage is one of the biggest and happiest days in their life. Marriage is considered as an important event in someone's life. Human society has provided so much importance to marriage that some people who don't want to marry are even seen as broken and incomplete by many. Human history has gone through several phases and has evolved into the society we see today. Let's trace the history of the institution of marriage and find out how much it has evolved.
Development Of Marriage As An Institution
The best available evidence suggests that marriage is about 4,350 years old. Historians and Anthropologists believe before that the family loosely consisted of a group of people with few male as leaders of the group where multiple women were shared between them and kids. According to The Week, a notable Indian magazine, the first ever recorded evidence of marriage uniting a man and a woman dates from about 2350 B.C. in Mesopotamia. According to the BBC, the institution of marriage was all about relationships(not in modern sense) between the Anglo-Saxon group and early tribals of Britain.
According to Stephanie Coontz, author of Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage, marriage was used as a strategic tool to establish trade and diplomatic relationships between different groups of people.
Marriages weren't conducted for the sake of conducting marriages but to establish peaceful relationships, trading relationships, mutual obligations with others by marrying them. In India too, marriages were conducted between two kingdoms to maintain friendly ties and to gain more power over others by creating great influence with combined powers of two kingdoms.
So, we can say that the base for marriage wasn't love or mutual feelings but the vast mutual interests of two groups of people.
Marriage As A Tool of Oppression of Women.
As marriages were conducted for the sake of the larger interests of two groups of people, there was no say of women in that. They had to accept what the male leaders of the family chose for them and had to follow their will. Women were used as the bait for the power, diplomacy and trade ties between men. Women weren't allowed to work outside and earn money so the only thing that marriage had to offer them was financial security. In the popular novel 'Pride And Prejudice' by Jane Austen, one of the feminist writers, we can see how parents saw marriage as a form of economic security for their daughters.
Marriage As An Exclusionary Practice
The word marriage is derived from Latin word marītāre, meaning to provide with a husband or wife. This definition is used by conservatives as a tool to exclude queer community from marriage. Different religions including Christianity, Islam, Judaism and other major religions are either completely against or have unclear stance for queer marriages. Marriages were and are widely controlled by religions mostly but with the establishment of secular governments members of queer community too are getting married in western countries. In India, even in recent times, the Indian Government still opposes the petition calling for recognition of same-sex marriages in Delhi High Court on the basis of 'Sancity Of Institution Of Marriage'.
The Times Of India quotes the Government argues, " Living together as partners or in a relationship with a same-sex individual is “not comparable” with the “Indian family unit concept” of a husband, wife and children, the government said, arguing that the institution of marriage has a “sanctity”. “In our country, despite statutory recognition of the relationship of marriage between a biological man and a biological woman, marriage necessarily depends upon age-old customs & societal values.” This statement shows us how deeply rooted patriarchy and heteronormativity is prevalent in the concept of marriage.
Marriage As An Patriarchal Setup
The Institution of marriage has always been a topic of debate in feminist circles as a Patriarchal Setup. The reasons it is pointed out as an patriarchal structure includes but not limited to:
The authority of a man over woman
The man in the marriage assets his authority over women and the authority to the man has been provided by the religions and the idea of marriage itself.
Like for instance, in Islam, a man can divorce his wife only by reciting the word 'Talaq' three times and the woman is left without any options and has to accept the divorce.
Similarly, in Christianity, the Bible says "At the head of every household is a man; at the head of a man is Christ, and the head of every woman is a man, and the head of Christ is God."
This shows how the man is granted authority over women and women are expected to accept that authority and serve the man. These are just a few examples and such authority is granted to men in more or less in every religion.
No or very less say of women in the whole process
As we all know by now that marriage was originally a tool for the greater financial, diplomatic and trade interests for men, women had very less say in the marriage,they had to accept what the leaders of the family had chosen for them. After entering into the marriage, they had to follow the directions of her husband and defying them would result in consequences led down by religions and institutions of the marriage itself. Men were allowed to enter in polygamy and have more than one wife and the wives had no right to say anything against it or protest it. In Hinduism, a women's life was considered worthless after the death of her husband and thus the infamous practice of 'Sati Pratha' came into practice. In modern times too a widow woman is expected to mourn her widow status and death of her husband by the society. It depicts the supremacy of a man over a woman.
Involvement of certain rituals which only favour men and against women
There are some rituals or practices that are still followed which favour and benefits the man in a marriage. The 'Dowry System' is one of the practices which is deeply entrenched in Indian society. Women are expected to bring a lump sum amount along with jewelleries to her husband's home. Many women are treated very badly because of the inability of her parents to pay for dowry, the weddings of many are called off and some are even subjected to death. This may seem like an exaggeration but it is the sad truth of India and these news are common in rural India.
Human history and the Institution Of Marriage, despite going through many phases of change, still aren't perfect and still possess many malpractices.
Thanks to the brave people who spoke against these behaviours and took a lead to make positive changes, there are many visible changes which are benefitting the people who were once marginalized due to the poor rules and regulations that were deep rooted in the concept of marriage. With the establishment of secular governments LGBTQIA+ community can now marry people of their choice, women can access the right to divorce, muslim women can go to courts against the one sided practice 'Triple Talaq'. There is still more that needs to be done and we believe we will keep fighting for betterment and equality in every sphere of life. But for now we can stop and celebrate the fights and struggles which our ancestors made to give us a more accepting and better world to live in.
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